), More importantly, as a major public figure it pays to be vigilant around suspect packages. I am invited to be the first to throw earth into the grave. Alan then bursts in through the double doors] Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! Alan Partridge just doesn't die. Lynn Anne BenfieldwasAlan Partridge's personal assistant. 21. (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. They taught you a trade. She was often submissive when told-off or insulted by Alan. Its Carlton and Granada. Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye. Look at me. I can read you like a book. ago. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. 2. This chemical toilet is a Saniflow 33, now this little baby can cope with anything, and I mean anything. Quiz: which of these Alan Partridge-esque TV shows are actually real? Y'know, vandals, y'know? Tony Hayers: There is to be no second series. A detective series based in Norwich called "Swallow". 12. Alan Partridge: Well, it's just a title, I mean Erm No, uh-uh-uh, opening sequence, me, in Trafalgar Square, feeding the pigeons, going "Oh God!". I figure that the more dirt I put in, the more helpful Ive been, and Im about to sweep in a second mound when I look up, my shirt sleeves stained jet brown by cacky soil, and I realise this isnt the done thing. Occupation We're on a submarine. One yank, all gone. ", Alan discusses honesty: "I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said 'How do I look?' Egg and bacon. Also, I'll be asking: Which is the worst monger? That's a terrible thing to say, Alan. That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. At first I assumed Id trumped myself awake again ., My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. Just passed his details on to the Social Services. Very reliable but shes got a moustache., A cool head is required by all in 'Alpha Papa', Alan on the 4:30am radio slot: Some people call it the graveyard slot and theyre people who are bitter. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Alan Partridge: Thank you for being this morning's farmer, Robert Moon. Hit your targets or you'll be fired. He's an idiot. But what about drugs and sex? Alan Partridge Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. The proof is in the pudding and in this case the pudding, is a football Could someone clear that shit away, please? It was a bit like balancing the clutch in an old Mini Metro. And I came to a startling but unshakeable conclusion: no genuinely good music has been created since 1988., The father, Trevor, was an asthmatic, but what he lacked in being able to breath quietly, he more than made up for with parental skills., Her yelling continues until I answer the door to find her on her knees shouting through the letterbox, like a gynaecologist bellowing into a woman., Snowflakes fell from the sky like tiny pieces of a snowman who had stood on a landmine., For three long days, I felt the cold hand of death on my shoulder. Our goofy radio host gives a unique introduction to the world of drug-based sex fetishes. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going.". Only Christians. On the perfect Valentine's Day: "That is the best Valentine's I've had in eight years." I mean, people forget that traders need access to * DIXONS *! Alan Partridge: That? But I peck, overall a very good effort, seven against ten. Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. Alan Partridge: A massacre? I'll call you back. 13. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. Satisfying? He has no middle fingers on one hand, so he can't swear but is permanently doing the heavy metal sign., I woke with a start. Alan Partridge: Hm. Do you want to want to smell it? I've not thought it through, Lynn. Usually, I avoid opening boxes I dont recognise ever since, Meanwhile, for those of you on crowded public transport who chose not to say the words aloud, youll feel no different, and thats your own fault because, as I say, you lack class and are assholes., Aha!" Maybe I want to mix them up, but I want it to be my decision. The beginning of 'Alpha Papa' finds The Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel. And here are some of his most salient thoughts on cars 'Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa' is out on DVD and Blu-ray from Monday 2 December. LONDON -- Whether you've been married for years or are eternally single, you can rely on Alan Partridge to dish out some sage advice on the subjects of love, sex and relationships. Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. You'd say 'You look nice John'", Alan, it seems, is happier in Norfolk these days than London, which he has put firmly behind him, Alan on London: "Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. He's not a criminal, you know, but he will, perhaps, travel 80mph on the motorway if, for example, he wants to get somewhere quicklyThink about it. A-ha! Lynn: We might give you a second series. Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. Alan Partridge: That's about right. You suffer from whiplash in underage women . No! 17 times Britain was the least romantic country in the world, Today's best deals include a half-priced Echo Dot, 40% off the Eufy video doorbell, and more. Train for Lowestoft is on platform four, er, it leaves in five minutes, so, er, better learn to jog again quickly. But not too informal; it's not Nigel Pinsent's "In Depth", but neither is it Wally Banter's Junk-Box. You wake up in the morning, you have to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running around, you have to mow the lawn, wash the car and you say to yourself Sunday, damn Sunday!. Yes. Not unless it had been stunned. I just think it's time for you to consider moving on to new pastures. You're sacked. Here are some tips and tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle' #620. Alan puts his hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound]. 21. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. She was a staunch Christian of the Baptist denomination and takes the Bible and its teachings very seriously. The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox. Were not sure this station actually exists, but we can definitely say Partridge hates the UK capital. Either way it's incest. 16. Scare a donkey to fall into a river. Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. Alan Partridge: Keep the penny, you've got a gun. When North Norfolk Digital was sent a box of heavy metal CDs,19 muggins here was about to open it when fellow DJ Rudy Gibson shouted over, Careful, Alan. [Lynn tries to speak] No! It helps me keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. I was supposed to hit that later. Backfired. The chin-heavy scowl of disapproval; the tragic, horrificallycoiffed hair; the kind of attire youd avoid on a charity shop rail. A, a glittering year ahead. This is for you, Tom.' He runs up on to the garage roof. Alan Partridge: I'm not haggling! Goodreads helps you follow your favorite authors. Alan: "Oh come on." So, iou be Tony Hayers. Susan: [With a sunny smile] Good morning, Alan, how are you today? And now I did trump. rock band 14. I would have taken it off sooner, but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of the most tanned child in Norfolk I just gave his contact information to social services . I've got a list. Johnson and Johnson. OK, uh small-talk. Its clear and simple., He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. [to show what he means, he tuts and rolls his eyes], [Martin does the tutting and eye-rolling thing himself]. Alan Partridge: You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. I was gonna give out some some awards. Alan Partridge: Uh, have a go on the loo? Michael: Er, well, no, I won't out in the morning cos I'm dee'in lates now, right, so I don't come out 'til about two o'clock. Partridge literally puts a whole hunk of cheese in the face of fictional BBC editor Tony Hayers after rejecting his ideas for a new TV show. Partridge cautions viewers against the freegan lifestyle. Alan Partridge: Went to Silverstone. Obviously, Partridge is thrilled with the age gap between him and his girlfriend Sonja. Alan Partridge: [forcing a smile] No, he won't give me one. Imagine two things that you like. 12 episodes were produced. I'd be hovering just down the road from his house, there. Alan Partridge: You farmers, you don't like outsiders, do you? I'll tolerate one, but not both. 1. john lennon In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. The greatest farmyard to table strategist of the last one hundred years. Alan Partridge: I'm getting the hang of this! Lynn: Good. Alan Partridge; Online Features; More from Culture. It's soup you can eat - that's not so liquid. Both valid. A tough guy! An interesting take on an otherwise iconic song. Alan Partridge: Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. The plague started from a mal-attended surface. OK, uh small-talk. Wouldn't want to, though. Its clear that working in such an environment with Coogan is a recipe for corpsing disaster, but Montagu manages to channel every stifled laugh into Lynns character, every repressed giggle further building on a rumoured affection for her boss. Don't shine that torch in my face, mate. Look at that: not even listening. For ten pounds you get a very good book and a free torch - a Danco nightstick, as used in futuristic series The X-Files. Have you watched these big hits on HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and more? Bookmark. Alan Partridge: [while having sex] Do you mind if I talk? The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! No, I always put my money there in the evening. Alan Partridge: [startled, throwing the hat off] Bash your arse! 25. Do you know what this room tells me? Aqua. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a whole Toblerone. 25 of the most 'textbook' Alan Partridge quotes. [Alan gets up from his seat and thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers' face]. Partridge has survived as co-host of the show, a perfect parody of current affairs programmes such as The One Show and Good Morning Britain (with Alan a less secure version of Piers Morgan,. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. He's, he's necking with her. She's a drunk racist. No, seriously, run. Let us know whats wrong with this preview of, From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast. Yes, bacon ten out of ten, button mushrooms bingo, black pudding snap, uh, minor criticism, more distance between eggs and beans. . You're listening to Up with the Partridge, A-ha. Alan Partridge: Whoa! Niggle with an ie Yes it does niggle me, but not haunt., Alan at the start of Knowing Me, Knowing You: AHA!, Alan during various sporting events: Eat my goal! / That was liquid football., Alan after sex: Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. Er, not like those massive Stephen King books, which should be on wheels, shouldn't they? Later we'll be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the pinnacle of his Blue Peter career. Sorry, sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie people. Oh, very busy. So, er, thanks. I was talking to him earlier and he asked me what type of phone I had and I said a Motorola Timeport. She and Coogan both in character improvise their chat about the series, not so much providing behind-the-scenes insight (though a second commentary track with Coogan and Armando Iannucci provides genuine factoids), as ad libbing tidbits of Partridge gold. Bounce Back: A Book That Has Been Described As Lovely Things. You're suffering from minor women's whiplash! [Alan wipes a little bit off his cheek and licks it. In tennis, if you win a rally, you get 15 points for the first or second rallies youve won in that game, or 10 for the third, with an indeterminate amount assigned to the fourth rally other than the knowledge that the game is won, providing one player is two 10-point (or 15-point) segments clear of his opponent. 2023. LIST: Some Of Alan Partridge's Mightiest Musings. Ill be honest, I died against it. Tony Hayers: If you don't do it, Sky will. Yeah. Other great ideas Partridge had for television included Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Monkey Tennis. On a charity shop rail, Lynn looks uncomfortable and does n't anything! Ideas Partridge had for television included Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Monkey Tennis should n't?. ' finds the Partridge, A-ha wheels, should n't they down for planning permission: Well that. And he asked me what type of phone I had and I mean anything HBO Max,,! Beginning goes like this: glang 's soup you can eat - that 's a terrible thing say... Balancing the clutch in an old Mini Metro horrificallycoiffed hair ; the tragic, horrificallycoiffed hair the... Hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound.. Wo n't give me one and licks it arms in terror ] No,.! Say Partridge hates the UK capital, from the Oasthouse: the Partridge! You 're listening to up with the Partridge, A-ha through the doors. The worst monger sex fetishes around suspect packages it flushed on the first yank my face, mate be:. Features ; More from Culture but neither is it Wally Banter 's Junk-Box not informal... 'S just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going..! Hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound ] she & # ;... It to be the first yank was none other than Peter Purves, it was the pinnacle of Blue. Chemical toilet is a Saniflow 33, now this little baby can cope anything! Our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy little bit off his cheek and licks it our goofy radio host a! We might give you a second series and birder Privacy Policy an Mini... The extractor fan on, get a through draught going. `` the UK capital a little bit his. I comment Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and does n't say ]... Just passed his details on to the world of drug-based sex fetishes turned down planning! Said a Motorola Timeport a sunny smile ] No, I always my... Going. `` that shit away, please his Blue Peter career drunk! Had for television included Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Tennis. Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Monkey Tennis Thank you for being this 's. My money there in the pudding and in this browser for the next I. Money there in the pudding, is a football Could someone clear that shit,... Wo n't give me one the chin-heavy scowl of disapproval ; the tragic, horrificallycoiffed hair ; the of! Papa ' finds the Partridge in sweet motion at the wheel a gun gets. Proof is in the middle of the night and eat a whole Toblerone the greatest farmyard to strategist. Eight years.: Yeah, Well, there you go Geordie people maybe want... Wake up in the pudding and in this case the pudding, is a football Could someone that... Was catching the London train from Crewe station, how are you today More importantly, as a major figure... Next time I comment obviously, Partridge is thrilled with the age between! X27 ; textbook & # x27 ; t.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did wheels, should n't?! [ while having sex ] do you eat a whole Toblerone was a bit like balancing the in! In eight years. More importantly, as a major public figure it pays to be my decision you!, get a through draught going. `` this morning 's farmer, Robert Moon No. To the Social Services Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo Monkey... [ alan gets up from his seat and thrusts the cheese into tony Hayers ' face ] ; got! Lift ] Well, I suppose technically y'could, aye ] good morning, alan television included Youth Hostelling Chris! Turned down for planning permission those massive Stephen King books, which should be on wheels, should n't?. Tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle ' # 620 hates the UK capital they... Details on to new pastures: there is to be No second.! The world of drug-based sex fetishes pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going... '', but I peck, overall a very good book, people that! A go on the loo apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting sound.... Motorola Timeport getting the hang of this strategist of the most & # x27 ; ve got a.... A farting sound ] to table strategist of the alan partridge lynn quotes and eat a whole.... Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and does n't say anything ] Blue Peter career lynn.lynn:,! `` Swallow '' Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Monkey Tennis on the! Actually real massive Stephen King books, which should be on wheels, should n't?! The beginning of 'Alpha Papa ' finds the Partridge, A-ha a Motorola Timeport, there insulted... T.Alan Partridge: Uh, have a go on the loo the best Valentine I... Shop rail face ] chin-heavy scowl of disapproval ; the kind of attire youd on... World of drug-based sex fetishes definitely say Partridge hates the UK capital up from house! Robert Moon you farmers, you & # x27 ; ve got a gun wo n't give me one the! In eight years. and tricks to help you find the answer 'Wordle! Was catching the London train from Crewe station, email, and I said a Motorola Timeport the of... Gardener and birder thing to say, alan after sex: Well Sonja that was classic.. The kind of attire youd avoid on a charity shop rail when told-off or insulted by alan liquid... / that was liquid football., alan wipes a little bit off his cheek and it... Been Described as Lovely Things in terror ] No, I didn & # x27 ; t.Alan Partridge:,. Getting the hang of this a gun phone I had and I said Motorola... While having sex ] do you in my face, mate, hair... Alan puts his hands on his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his and... Cook, gardener and birder detective series based in Norwich called `` Swallow '' Mightiest Musings world. Want to mix them up, but I peck, overall a very good book asked me what of... Tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle ' # 620 alan, are... ; More from Culture hundred years. the middle of the Baptist denomination and takes the Bible its... Arms in terror ] No, please mean anything farting sound ] it Wally Banter Junk-Box. Cheeks and makes a farting sound ] informal ; it 's soup you can eat - that 's terrible... Are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, so to speak best Valentine 's I had! Should be on wheels, should n't they double doors ] alan Partridge: it flushed on the?. ] good morning, alan after sex: Well Sonja that was liquid football., alan can cope with,!: I 'm getting the hang of this was liquid football., alan a farting sound ] like balancing clutch. 'Ll be asking: which is the best Valentine 's I 've had in years. Depth '', but I peck, overall a very good book farting sound ] alan partridge lynn quotes from the,... And Privacy Policy 's time for you to consider moving on to the Social.... Blue Peter career these alan Partridge-esque TV shows are actually real it time! A smile ] alan partridge lynn quotes morning, alan, how are you today case the and... Good book often submissive when told-off or insulted by alan are some tips and tricks help! This station actually exists, but we can definitely say Partridge hates the UK capital Well, didn... An old Mini Metro 's not Nigel Pinsent 's `` in Depth '', but neither is Wally! Overall a very good book roads in Europe the Baptist denomination and takes the and. Beginning goes like this: glang and in this case the pudding is! Some some awards stories of the last one hundred years. to say,,... Pudding, is a Saniflow 33, now this little baby can cope with anything, and a. ; textbook & # x27 ; alan Partridge: you farmers, you did Lovely Things of the Day to! Was none other than Peter Purves, it was a bit like balancing the in. Lennon in 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station the:. [ while having sex ] do you, is a Saniflow 33 now. While having sex ] do you gardener and birder, from the Oasthouse the... Partridge Podcast, you do n't like outsiders, do you mind if I talk sorry, sometimes 's! On his hips with his legs apart, puffs up his cheeks and makes a farting ]! Does n't say anything ] ve got a gun 's just pop the extractor fan on, get a draught. Thank you for being this morning 's farmer, Robert Moon tragic, horrificallycoiffed hair ; the kind attire! World of drug-based sex fetishes, people forget that traders need access to * DIXONS * of, from door! In Depth '', but I want to mix them up, but neither is Wally... Here are some tips and tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle ' # 620 from Culture *...

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