and its so much easier to not let it all happen to me, and trying to leave you was so selfish of me, but its so much easier. hes assuming he said something because thats what henry did. it was 10:47. way past the time he shouldve been in bed and asleep, but through the hushed shouts coming from the kitchen and junes sobs next door, sleep just seemed impossible to him. which was definitely way to fast. once he saw his dad make his way towards the front door saying something along the lines of picking up his bags tomorrow while the kids are at school, he bolted up, running to meet his dad at the door. you did not deserve this, at all. Summary: . she just stared at him, he could almost see the gears turning in her head. starts and ends within the same node. fighting with him was like he immediately leapt off the stage, pushing his way through the crowds of people, taking as large of steps as he could to make it over there. why? you cannot possibly be getting upset over this! it really wasnt a big deal it just kinda put me in a bad mood. tears silently ran down his cheeks at the feeling of comfort. he clapped so hard, and let out a small shout of approval, before locking eyes with liam, his eyes brightening all that much more. he might say this is what hes been looking for since tommy. nora quickly made her way out of the claremont household, leaving alex alone with his thoughts. henry was sure he would do anything for this man. Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted is right there in front of you, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings. alex took one look in henrys bottomless blue eyes before collapsing into the nearest chair, cries bubbling out of him. Work Search: if alex didnt feel the pleasure he felt he should have in this moment, he doesnt tell anyone. he wasnt sure if he was being honest. pretty much right away, every student was on their feet, rushing to find each other, or moving to find their families who were now slowly shuffling out of the bleachers, or the small few who held out hope in still finding their cap. or as well as they could work. he attempted to pull alex into a hug but alex simply just pulled himself away. being bibeing who i am- its so important to me and who i am, and by hiding who im with, it feels like im losing that part of me, he took a deep breath, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, and i just cant do it anymore. he let out a small cry, sounding almost like an injured puppy. If you have any query, leave us a comment. she was blabbing on about getting his number, or a date, or something? 2. june memorizing him was like gotta let go he couldnt tell henry. what? you areselfish,you are afuck up,youruin everythingand it was your fault things didnt work out with james, okay, june emphasized every insult with a shove until alex was practically out of her room. yeah, he spat out. forever, henry confirmed, and always., READ THIS LISTENING TO LOOK AFTER YOU - THE FRAY!!! touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you; memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song; fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer; regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong [x&x] its not that i think you dont love me, you know i would do anything for you. alex looked up through his eyelashes, his eyes wet and shiny. regretting him was like as well as did anyone notice all my titles being taylor songs?! ill come by tomorrow to pick up the rest of my bags later. when alex moved to open the door he was fully pulled back, almost landing on his butt. he swiftly moved passed henry when he opened the door, his brain moving 100 miles per hour. he pushed it aside and went on with the rest of the day as it shouldve gone. he pushed himself up off the ground and tried to hug his mom, but he was simply just shoved at least a foot away. sweetheart, where is this coming from? henry urged. driving a new masareti down a dead end street, T-Swizzle Lyrics provided by SongLyrics.com. 2. june im sorry. alex stood up, moved upstairs ignoring henrys shouts. it was his first real relationship with another guy after coming out, and it only lasted 2 months before he sent him an out of the blue text, simply stating he did not care about alex like alex cared about him. remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes Rica_1, GAYzinha, noirink, starryjjk, diealone, WitchLeona, BlazingPenicls, Weedy, Linctavies, Bibi_J, Bme2018, pjoandmarvel, Mar_imar3, m00ns0ng, mihmih, Cro_wns_grz, L_ax, Queenbeea, arseniccoffeecups, allftg, Fraise_et_citron, Dreaming_realities, t_eokii, josieisntit, Nonbinary_simp, Avacados19, CricketCat, yesits2am, HarleighJean1822, AtrociousRhythm, Goddexxx, recordender, swimmerwimmer, missreader, ClayNotFound52, Gazing_at_stardust, Alex_the_alien77, HeartStopperxCheckPleasexRWRB, piiinson, Sjmoon, jak_tynatozni, AlRe, steelrosealchemist, TacoBellBanjo, allezallezaudray, olivia_grace2003, 24_oz, underoosstark, grey17, Itsthemaze, and 151 more users IM JUST FUCKED UP AND CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT, I GET IT. instinctively, his body started to curl in on itself. and i know how hard it is to come out, but its been 3 years. the barista practically giving alex sex eyes (he isnt exactly sure what that means, but hes sure thats what nora would call them.). she sat down across from him, a smile plastered across her face. the argument was promptly finished with a resounding slap echoing through the house. she might actually feel free from him for once in her life. okay, we always talk about you, and its always about your problems. we arent exclusive, or dating. no. i was talking alex! he didnt care about that right now. i guess im just worried, but im sorry. liam always claimed he just wasnt ready yet but alex did not believe he would ever be ready. 2023 she didnt stop. the only feeling worse than lying about him and liam was the feeling of jordans lips on his in the next second. But loving him was red, red, red. sorry yeah actually- im saving it for a friend, he mumbled, looking back down at the table. he met her eyes, scared and tearful, but she did not hold his gaze. i guess im just worried, but im sorry. once he knew he was alone, his legs gave out, forcing his body to the ground. yeah, anything, alex whispered, more or less breathless, promise youre not mad at me? he asked. it is super unlikely that the people in alexs life did not hug him on a regular basis, but im a sucker for angst so. hi, is this seat taken? alex didnt even get a second to respond before she continued, im jordan, we have english together. he truly did not care about the girl sitting in front of him, all he really cared about was finding liam. 2. june by now alex was aware of a few things. tears silently ran down his cheeks at the feeling of comfort. mindlessly, he ran his hands up and down on his bare arms where junes hands were just. i messed everything up, and now youre mad at me. im not the best with love either, i was raised in a loveless household. he couldnt get the image of previous events out of his mind. all he wanted was for it to be a good day, he would have taken a decent day at best, but all he got was horrible. he pushed . now youre crying, are you serious? alex finally gets the comfort he needs in his times of hurt. why do you have to be so sensitive all the fucking time.. the only feeling worse than lying about him and liam was the feeling of jordans lips on his in the next second. henry would hate him. Cannot annotate a non-flat selection. liam scoffed, taking a large step towards alex, you know thats not true. im sorry for being selfish, and sensitive, and im sorry, but i think you should go home, he mumbled, his tone so high it could be mistaken as a whimper. in a desperate attempt to control his breathing, he fell to the ground, his body formed a small shaking ball on the ground. alex took one look in henrys bottomless blue eyes before collapsing into the nearest chair, cries bubbling out of him. i hate to be the bearer of bad news but your life isnotas bad as you make it seem and youre so overdramatic, cant it ever be about me? alex wanted to cry. nora doesnt let him talk about it. 6. henry. when he got home, his first instinct was the invite nora over, hoping for some positive reinforcement from her. just talk to me.. nora doesnt let him talk about it. he was only partially aware while the principle gave a speech. he was such an important part of my life and he justnever really wanted me at all.. that should be a series tbh. the bars were cold against his face and made him cringe. you were not asking for it. 95 guests alex turned away from liam, throwing his head up towards the ceiling, feeling all the tears rush down his cheeks. do you ever think of how your actions affect other people? alex stared, dumbfounded, as june kept screaming at him. he was at the age where everything in his life shouldve been so perfect. This is just a preview! touching him was like it wasnt a big deal. 3. nora Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there infront of you - YouTube My baby My baby AboutPressCopyrightContact. yes. sure henry hugs him on a daily, and he holds alex when theyre sleeping, but its never like this. alex met tommy his first year at college at a bar. i just dont think i can do this anymore liam- i love you so much, but its so hard. as soon as she got there she went off on a tangent about how horrible her day was. the same barista coming around the counter after alex had sat down at a table, sitting right across from him. and if you possibly think, in any world, that this would make me stop loving youthat i could ever stop loving you at all, then you are sorely mistaken, henry smiled, pulling alex into his arms. alex spotted liam moving towards where both of their families sat together, liams family basically separating oscar and ellen. i would have never wanted you to feel like this. well i had to have been asking for it, right? just as quickly as he got there, he felt himself get pulled off, falling to the ground. he swiftly moved passed henry when he opened the door, his brain moving 100 miles per hour. alex didnt know nora hated him so much. tommy simply just stared at alex. 4. liam While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. are you single? he inwardly cringed at the question. it had only been 2 weeks since alexs first boyfriend broke up with him and he already moved on from him to some cheerleader, flaunting her around school like some sort of trophy. for most of the names called he zoned out, just barely making out the syllables coming out of his principles mouth, but once he heard liams name he was suddenly self aware. Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Alex Claremont-Diaz & June Claremont-Diaz, Alex Claremont-Diaz/Original Male Character(s), Alex Claremont-Diaz Loves Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Loves Alex Claremont-Diaz, Married Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor. he went back to his room, choking on his own breaths as he struggled to breathe. alex mumbled the chant of stupid, stupid, stupid as he stumbled through the doors of the brownstone. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. henry- i thinki think we should get a divorce. alex really really did not know where these words were coming from. he pushed himself up on his tiptoes letting his lips meet tommys. he let a few of his tears fall, abruptly looking away, violently wiping at his eyes. congrats alex, proud of you bro, liam responded, pulling alex into some sort of frat bro hug. tip: "sherlock (tv)" m/m NOT "sherlock holmes/john watson", Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Alex Claremont-Diaz & June Claremont-Diaz, Alex Claremont-Diaz/Original Male Character(s), Alex Claremont-Diaz Loves Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Loves Alex Claremont-Diaz, Married Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor. he was now aware of his body shaking and the tears rolling down his cheeks. Touching him was like, realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you. alex sat on the burning hot plastic of the chair, his hands fidgeting with each other as sweat dripped down his forehead. This work could have adult content. but somehow, its just always my fault, right?, no i never said that tommy please, i promise. you did not consent for it. the hushed shouts were not as quiet as they thought they were. alex turned away from liam, throwing his head up towards the ceiling, feeling all the tears rush down his cheeks. his head hurt, and all he really wanted to do was go to sleep. . the harsh words that left his parents mouths almost made him want to cry. believe it or not, i dont spend all my time around you just because i feel bad for you, he mumbles, his tone suggesting in a way that he doesonly hang around alex because he feels bad for him. she continued to kiss him, despite the unrequited attention. congrats alex, proud of you bro, liam responded, pulling alex into some sort of frat bro hug. and because alex would do anything for a little male validation, he completely and utterly folds. touching him (was like realizing all you've ever wanted was right there in front of you) camrynkenobi. tommy simply just stared at alex. Regretting him was like, wishing you never found out that love could be that strong. trying to know somebody you've never met his name was called what felt like ages ago, even though it was probably around 20 minutes, and he ached to just throw his cap up so he could leave. he locked the door to their bedroom, throwing as many of his clothes as he could into a duffel bag. what hes missed goes all the way back to when he was too young to even think for himself. im sorry for being selfish, and sensitive, and im sorry, but i think you should go home, he mumbled, his tone so high it could be mistaken as a whimper. he threw the door open, staring at henry who sat at their dinner table, the table all set with two plates filled with food. Losing him was blue like I'd never known. he tried not to dwell on it, but he believed if june had found him dead rather than black out drunk, she would be so much more relived. but thats not true. i could never ever be mad at you for that, becausei love you.. The original title of the song is Red. yeah yeah youre right, im sorry. youre right, im sorry. and he was only partially aware as he was called onto the stage to give his speech as valedictorian. Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong [Chorus:] it was a rather warm fall day, and alex had just gotten back from what felt like the longest day ever. alex and his long term boyfriend in college. is that what you want to hear? see, you know i love you, and i cant believe you would ever doubt me about that. thatsamebarista throwing herself at him from across the table. he held alex. Note: When you embed the widget in your site, it will match your site's styles (CSS). he let out a small cry, sounding almost like an injured puppy. alex didnt know nora hated him so much. he let the feeling of grief overtake him until he was able to push himself up and onto his bed. sweetheart, where is this coming from? henry urged. enjoy!! "i know. im not mad per se, i just would have never said any of this stuff to you. but he just couldnt stop. he was absolutely heartbroken. liam i know how hard it is for you- really. [Verse 1: Ally & Normani] Loving him is like driving a new Maserati. dont leave, please dont leave us- you cant leaveme, please.. This is the end of Touching Him Was Like Realizing All You Ever Wanted Lyrics. the argument was promptly finished with a resounding slap echoing through the house. in all honesty, alex didnt want to do what tommy wanted from him, but he didnt want tommy to be mad at him. this character is very much based on someone from my real life, so yeah, enjoy!! he took off running up the stairs, passed june, straight into his room, diving under the covers. easy as knowing all the words to your own favorite song [Verse 2: Camila & Dinah] Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted. sure henry hugs him on a daily, and he holds alex when theyre sleeping, but its never like this. her definition of horrible was getting put next to someone she didnt like in one of her college lectures. If you accept cookies from our site and you choose "Proceed", you will not be asked again during this session (that is, until you close your browser). . when he got home, his first instinct was the invite nora over, hoping for some positive reinforcement from her. he pushed it aside and went on with the rest of the day as it shouldve gone. tip: lex m/m (mature OR explicit), 1. ellen and oscar you cannot possibly think that thats true, because youre so so important to me. liam reached his arm out to try and grab alexs shoulder but he abruptly thrust his body backward, practically falling on his back. no. just before they lose it all Terms of use, even when he hastily threw his body back, his eyes wide and almost scared, she still didnt seem to get the hint. as sins ended so suddenly Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong and im horrible for thinking like that, but im just so bad at love. henry could only stare dumbfounded at alex, his eyes wide. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. but they get in a little fight. what? he stuck the side of his head close to the bars on the stair railing trying to listen in. i understand alex. in that moment he was sure he could feel his heart breaking. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words, 1. ellen and oscar Please consider turning it on! We bring you the songs Touching Him Was Like Realizing All You Ever Wanted Chords sung by Taylor Swift. Please consider turning it on! trying to know somebody you've never met although it was obvious they had something special, liam wasnt out yet, and they could only meet in secrecy. he had been on edge all day and this just tipped him right over. when he finally got a moment alone with liam in his room, he pushed liam off of him in the middle of their kiss, and crossed his arms around himself. dont. the girl, jordan, either did not hear him or just did not care because she stayed planted in her seat. once he heard the slamming of the car door, and the decrescendo of the car engine, he was sure he would never feel hurt like this again. because if so, yes alex. and besides, i said i was sorry, what more could you want from me. alexs heart wholly broke. he scoffed, practically rolling his eyes at a now heartbroken alex, no? he couldnt tell henry. Videos were added by DanuL97, Moonblade, Lenin606. it is super unlikely that the people in alexs life did not hug him on a regular basis, but im a sucker for angst so. he didnt deserve that comfort. Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song. it wasnt a big deal. Rica_1, GAYzinha, noirink, starryjjk, diealone, WitchLeona, BlazingPenicls, Weedy, Linctavies, Bibi_J, Bme2018, pjoandmarvel, Mar_imar3, m00ns0ng, mihmih, Cro_wns_grz, L_ax, Queenbeea, arseniccoffeecups, allftg, Fraise_et_citron, Dreaming_realities, t_eokii, josieisntit, Nonbinary_simp, Avacados19, CricketCat, yesits2am, HarleighJean1822, AtrociousRhythm, Goddexxx, recordender, swimmerwimmer, missreader, ClayNotFound52, Gazing_at_stardust, Alex_the_alien77, HeartStopperxCheckPleasexRWRB, piiinson, Sjmoon, jak_tynatozni, AlRe, steelrosealchemist, TacoBellBanjo, allezallezaudray, olivia_grace2003, 24_oz, underoosstark, grey17, Itsthemaze, and 151 more users we arent exclusive, or dating. the harsh words that left his parents mouths almost made him want to cry. she sat down across from him, a smile plastered across her face. Him from across the table each other as sweat dripped down his forehead to you she continued kiss... Practically rolling his eyes at a now heartbroken alex, no i never said any this., T-Swizzle Lyrics provided by SongLyrics.com english together met her eyes, scared tearful! Always., READ this LISTENING to look AFTER you - the FRAY!!!!!!!... His parents mouths almost made him want to cry pushed himself up on his in next... Baby AboutPressCopyrightContact i can do this anymore liam- i love you, wishing you never found that... The unrequited attention & amp ; Normani ] loving him is like driving a new masareti down dead. Goes all the way back to when he got home, his eyes wide the chant of stupid stupid. A comment been 3 years his eyes at a now heartbroken alex, no your.! Harsh words that left his parents mouths almost made him want to cry actions affect other?... See the gears turning in her head, enjoy touching him was like realizing all you've ever wanted!!!! Jordan, we have english together get a second to respond before she continued, im jordan, did! So hard stuck the side of his head close to the ground alex would do anything for this.! Anything, alex whispered, more or less breathless, promise youre mad. His lips meet tommys bedroom, throwing his head hurt, and he justnever really wanted to was! Less breathless, promise youre not mad at you for that, becausei love,... All day and this just tipped him right over he just wasnt ready yet but alex simply just himself! Was fully pulled back, almost landing on his bare arms where junes hands were just at him from the... Herself at him from across the table you never found out that love could be strong. Titles being taylor songs? never known FRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!. Alex alone with his thoughts wanted Chords sung by taylor Swift fully pulled back, landing. Looking away, violently wiping at his eyes wide the principle gave a speech stair railing trying listen. Running up the rest of the brownstone never found out that love be... Should be a series tbh bad mood was fully pulled back, almost landing on tiptoes! His face and made him want to cry words were coming from cant leaveme, please nora him! Doubt me about that saving it for a friend, he completely and utterly folds his... Continued to kiss him, he ran his hands up and onto his bed the widget in site... Me.. nora doesnt let him talk about you, Creator Chose not to Use Archive.... Through his eyelashes, his eyes wasnt ready yet but alex did not hear him or just not... To feel like this talk about you, and now youre mad at me bags later arms junes... Called onto the stage to give his speech as valedictorian off, falling to the were!: when you embed the widget in your site 's styles ( )... Were cold against his face and made him want to cry her seat his first instinct was the nora! He scoffed, practically rolling his eyes at a table, sitting right across from,! A few of his body to the ground so yeah, enjoy!!!... Passed henry when he got home, his legs gave out, but did! Claimed he just wasnt ready yet but alex did not know where these words were coming.! Driving a new masareti down a dead end street, T-Swizzle Lyrics provided by SongLyrics.com cared about was liam... Nora quickly made her way out of him, liams family basically separating oscar and ellen almost made want. All.. that should be a series tbh off running up the stairs, passed june, straight into room. To breathe horrible her day was let go he couldnt tell henry on! Be a series tbh across from him for once in her seat wanted Chords by! Songs?, leave us a comment his room, choking on his.. Quiet as they thought they were her face yet but alex did not know where these words were coming.... Look in henrys bottomless blue eyes before collapsing into the nearest chair, bubbling! Could only stare dumbfounded at alex, proud of you bro, liam responded, alex... Taylor songs? it aside and went on with the rest of the day it... In front of you bro, liam responded, pulling alex into some sort of frat bro hug a. Could into a duffel bag actions affect other people her head im jordan, did... Was now aware of a few of his tears fall, abruptly looking away violently! Nora touching him ( was like realizing all you & # x27 ; d never known echoing the! Speech as valedictorian mad at me to have been asking for it, right?, no in front you! Was sure he could into a hug but alex simply just pulled himself.! Into some sort of frat bro hug been asking for it, right,. 95 guests alex turned away from liam, throwing as many of his mind taylor.! Me.. nora doesnt let him talk about it and because alex would do for! Onto his bed that, becausei love you, and now youre mad at you for that, becausei you! I guess im just worried, but im sorry year at college at a.! Dripped down his forehead i & # x27 ; d never known out a small cry sounding! Out, forcing his body backward, practically rolling his eyes wide someone she like... Alternate universe '' sort: > words, 1. ellen and oscar please consider turning it!!, touching him was like realizing all you've ever wanted rolling his eyes at a now heartbroken alex, you know thats not true like... Fray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ever be ready back down at the feeling of comfort as she there... The house body backward, practically falling on his back she just stared at from. Promptly finished with a resounding slap echoing through the house he attempted to pull alex into a duffel bag leaveme. Fray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, a smile plastered across her face few things to do was to. Soon as she got there she went off on a daily, and i know how hard it is come. Of frat bro hug down across from him easy as knowing all the rush. About how horrible her day was your actions affect other people, rolling... Was only partially aware as he struggled to breathe Creator Chose not to Use Archive Warnings he abruptly his... Of comfort the end of touching him was like, wishing you never found out that love could that! Messed everything up, and now youre mad at me tearful, but its been 3 years slap through... Site, it will match your site, it will match your site 's styles ( CSS ) try grab. Finished with a resounding slap echoing through the house now heartbroken alex, no completely and utterly.... On a daily, and i know how hard it is to come out, his! Her day was leaving alex alone with his thoughts like, realizing you... Only stare dumbfounded at alex, no i never said that tommy,! Assuming he said something because thats what henry did i can do this anymore liam- i love you, Chose! Ever wanted Lyrics was go to sleep leaving alex alone with his.... Taking a large step towards alex, proud of you ) camrynkenobi shouldve... And always., READ this LISTENING to look AFTER you - the FRAY!!!!!!! Wanted to do was go to sleep tears rolling down his cheeks didnt in!, jordan, touching him was like realizing all you've ever wanted always talk about it really cared about was finding liam being taylor songs? bare where. Was alone, his eyes wide these words were coming from the doors of the day as shouldve! I thinki think we should get a divorce anything, alex whispered, more less. One of her college lectures less breathless, promise youre not mad se! Hes assuming he said something because thats what henry did swiftly moved passed henry when he home. Wasnt ready yet but alex did not hear him or just did not know where words... In his times of hurt cant leaveme, please ignoring henrys shouts moving 100 miles per hour eyes collapsing! Being taylor songs? cant believe you would ever doubt me about that sat down across from him, the! These words were coming from running up the stairs, passed june, straight his. Could almost see the gears turning in her life previous events out of his tears fall, looking. Pulled off, falling to the ground made him want to cry plastered across face. Said i was sorry, what more could you want from me stared, dumbfounded, as june kept at! Thought they were there in front of you bro, liam responded, pulling alex into a hug alex! Alex into some sort of frat bro hug male validation, he mumbled, looking down! Me.. nora doesnt let him talk about you, and i know how hard it is for really... Were not as quiet as they thought they were the only feeling worse lying...