we have a 4 years old daughter in which I was still supporting until I left the house. We are being unfairly treated.. Im a contractor and had my exs lawyer trying to use my wages before deductions for the child support calculation As in before all the materials,fuel, and subcontractors I had paid out of it for the year. Please 140k is an executive position at a company or a good looking stripper can make more than that in tips. Without going into a lot of detail, I had it pretty bad with support and other divorce obligations. I have paid over 80000 in child support in 14 years and about 5000 for depositions and another 20000 for lawyers. We have a 1970s narrative about a 2010s reality, Edin said. I got a job 2 at first, and supported myself and my child, his father as well as his family were welcome to be very involved in our childs lifeyou see its about whats in the best interest of the child not about money, figure it out its not that hard. I hear women I would say 97% of the time now saying they need to find a Baby daddy so they can get a new paycheck this is reality what are we going to do about this!!! If the court told me that I could take the kid/s and make my wife pay me I could not even consider that a possibility. 50 % of my income goes to cse and taxes. When you find yourself in the judicial system, especially men of color, you are experiencing discrimination and institutional racism. Top it off, I could not get SSI benefits for her, she was denied!! With the ability to be financially squeezed now being eliminated, the playing field becomes leveled again, and the family court will now have to temper themselves by consulting with the bankruptcy court prior to any further financial rape being visited upon you. Plus, by his time, the kids didnt want to leave a household where they could do just about whatever they want, and come live in a household where there would be rules and consequences. I was raised with the notion that if you dont set expectations that anticipate some results, then dont be shocked when the output is shabby. But I feel that it should be fair. I have decided to not even communicate with his family. This system is so bad! He can be thrown out of the childs life, and have to fight the mother for years to get his child back from the adoptive parents. If you say its just bevause of visitation your WRONG. That will eat up $750 a month, by itself. I have even seen thia to be true with foster kids. And NEVER MARRY BOYS! She filed a case against me, when I was 17, claiming that I hadnt paid her, when all the whilewe were living together and sharing bills. Why should that man, who doesnt have a large income, be forced into a situation where he has to struggle just to make ends meet when the woman is perfectly capable of working and has a job herself? Hmm so where do i go from here i found out she purchased a house back in 2006 for$277,000 when she did her financial report she said she was only getting 1000 a month, HMMMM now i start looking into more info, the case worker does not care, all they care about is getting my money, where do i go from here?? She saw a sweet and trusting man and she took full advantage. While the government is very efficient with its enforcement of child support laws, it might be more beneficial to address its child custody statutes. Never, in any given month, did we spend over $2000 dollars to support our kids. She was put in jail for two weeks once, not for the child support itself, but for lying to the judge. You can own your children just like you want. Then how much do you think your ex has to pay in additional food/rent/utilities/car/gas? Because its NOT. And I cant stress this enough PLEASE DO NOT go and make more children if you cannot afford the ones you already have. All us good dads want is a voice to be heard and change in this messed up system. Too many good fathers are being forced into poverty over this ridiculous system. It sounds like the father could jump through hoops backwards to be there for the children and that still wouldnt be good enough for you. it took them 3 weeks to even decide to allow me visitation..because of her plan and how she played the victim card..i dont have the money to sue for perjury. When his son came out as gay she had her new husband beat him up she told him she hopes he gets aids and dies. Because we could barely pay bills, he got behind on taxes, had to file bankruptcy to get out from under all of the credit card bills she ran up when they were married. Whete is the one that hey no suppory bit see the other drvelopment better. I took the charge to stand up for my right to visit my kids. Who cheated or asked for the divorce isnt relevant, it has nothing to do with taking care of your child. As a woman, I am personally sick of certain women( not all) taking good honest men for all their worth just because these men had had children with them. Once I informed her of this it she began to avoid my calls, msgs. Ex. The support pays her house note shes late paying all the time crushing my credit. Musk's daughter legally changed her gender identity when she turned 18. Why did you sleep with the woman who has YOU on child support? The payments were so high I eventually became homeless. Women have the advantage right off the bat. Being she makes 60k plus over you she should be getting less and paying half the insurance. If she is collecting support on you and your sister while your father has custody, that is fraudulent. It is important to note that a judge has the right to supersede this agreement if they feel it is unfair. GUESS WHAT.STILL DOESNT PROVIDE ENOUGH! So if that isnt a DEAD BEAT DAD WHAT IS? We also dont degrade one another in front of our child. Nevertheless its an expense to be paid. custodial parents are kidnappers. Yes, I was his wife. It sounds like a . Please see 42 US Code 654(21)(a). You cant control him anyways. So mother gets custodydad paysand the states gets a kickback from the feds. Or is it just to boost our industrial prison system? Dont make the same mistake again buddy. The minute the lazy parent quits job the child support also ceases. Even if the man possesses ALL the means of support for the children, more often than not the children are awarded to the mothers. Shes getting 45% of your net. He refused to have it fixed, even when I offered to pay him back in three days s. I couldnt bear watching my young toddler and other kids sweat for a day! Here are all the reasons why child support is is unfair to dads: Child support is built on the presumption that one parent (mothers) care for the children while another (father) pays for them. So take ur bullshit to another 10000 million help mother pages. Find a new man that owns a business. Ill take sole custody and all the financial responsibility in a heartbeat. There should be a base number that covers food, clothes and lodging split 50/50 between both parents. If his ex wife wouldnt have never married Mr. V and was an actual single mother with no father in sight, wouldnt she still have to dig into her own 140k salary to pay for her children anyway? The system is almost similar to yours and has been working for over eight years. Its more than enough for me. In the end, I got decision making through mediation (I couldnt afford court). I dont sue my ex boyfriend for the time and money I invested, its my lost! The insanity did not stop until I declared BANKRUPTCY the best option out there to stop the bleeding and financial harassment.My opinion examine your total ex spousal obligations with a bankruptcy attorney . Why not suspend child support as punishment!? The law presumes that people are incapable of determining right from wrong. She refused to let the kids see their dad unless he joined her religion- so he did. Worth a sacrifics in the long run but the counter support for him, can come from me. File for visitations they can amend the restraint order upon visitation schedule! The child support system is Set up to PUNISH the hard working parent and MOTIVATE the lazy parent to continue to be jobeless and lazy. How can i spend more time with my child when I am struggling to pay rent, have my own health problems that require medicine and try to afford all of that plus TRYING to spend as much quality time as possible with my child. When youre young and not knowledgeable about law, U.S. policies and your states pros/cons for single fathers trying to get rights to their child. My brother in law gets less then 200 a month for twins and i pay 770 a month for one kid. If anyone has been ordered to pay interest on their child support obligation, please feel free to ask the court or local prosecutor to recalculate the interest you are or have been ordered to pay based on this FEDERAL law. She had her permit suspended for oweing a few months when we were paying it all on time until my injury. I like I said dont not care if my kids father pays me child support, because I know that its what keeps me going everyday. But if the primary parent is mom. THEY WANT THIS STATUS QUO! For everyone who thinks someone is overpaying, I guarantee there are situations where people underpay or try to get out of supporting a kid at all. In many cases jail is actually better from some men if they are young enough and physically big. Agree with Bob Grise. Neither one of us is required to pay for college. I know there are genuinely some men who want their children and are great fathers, and I applaud and support them in this battle. I believe in equal rights but for every gender, race or religion. More importantly, I want her to have a good relationship with her dad, as I know too many women who have issues because of the kind of relationship they had with their dad, or lack thereof. Each parent will do the best they can with what they have. And when they were small kept them 3 days a week! Beging close minded and one sided is what is wrong with the system. Let me ask you this. Well mostly what i have read is comments from men. takes time and energy, and employers pay higher salaries to employees whore available for work anytime, can travel, etc. What one parent pays the other pays half to equal that payment. Now he is labeled a deadbeat dad . Because I chose to be a good father and a decent husband, maybe thats too boring for some women. Individuals like myself work hard to be a part of our childs life, make our payments and stay on amicable terms with the other parents only to be drug over the coals simply because they state wants to recover their losses. whats amazing to me is that, we all know the system is outdated and not fair, but does ANYONE with any power do anything to try and change these really messed up laws? no becuase if they did that means that there will be less jobs, all those people whol get paid from the system would be jobless, so to hell with the middle and low income people. My lawyer told me,Do not need child support any more. Now, on SSDI because could not work any more due to my stroke. But on top of it all, she remarried into money. The father is really glad that you made it a priority to give sole custody to the mother just because she is a woman. You need to appeal the decision When the best interest of both parents is actually attempted at being met at all? We will work zealously to guide you through the appeals process, ensuring that you present the proper evidence and arguments. Dont pay child support, well take away your license. She changed her number and said we wouldnt contact her and rejected all our certified letters. Why is NYS asking so much? she was at a loss for words. In family law, tales of fathers who pay exorbitant child support and rarely get to see their kids are commonplace. I have a lot of debt, but no regrets. For me no problem India isnt that bad yet it has only 1% divorce rates in the World. really i got a job b(#!h. So this guy told me that the money was taken due to the support I told him I was gifted that money which o have proof and he raised his voice and told me so you have responsibilities with this support case and he snapped. How about if I choose to quite my job and be a stay at home dad for my son that lives with me? Being in the state of NY I have been through hell and back and back to hell when it comes to family court. I used to pay CHILD SUPPORT from the judge in NEW HAMPSHIRE in 2001-2005; Then I have a massive stroke, paralyzed from my right side, aphasia. You could even put kids up for adoption when they are older. People make mistakes and they fall out of love, things happen. The mother of the child filed for child support with false information and with no time sharing agreement in place, my bf got screwed. Have fun with your weapon, i mean child. Now my husband story is different. The money is for your daughters welfare, not to give you something. Her full intention on marrying him was do live on his salary. November 15, 2022. Didnt think so. My biological kids are so much better adjusted than my step children because of the positive relationship that their dad and I have.money has got to be taken out of the equation. What you can do is move out of your grandmothers basement and try to provide a stable environment for your child instead of depending on them to raise your child. You can have a wonderful, healthy relationship with someone with whom you dont reside. So enter a judges job But its just a job to the judge so status quo is what you get. I live about 25 miles outside of Cincinnati Ohio. EveryoneNOW THIS IS A MONEY HUNGRY WOMAN!You can NOT milk a dry cowThats like making a homeless man pay for someone elses mealsWhen your down and out there are many out there that will continue to kick you. They take way over 20%. Sounds like she works her butt off to give these kids a great life. KS I feel you. 42 US Code 654(21)(a) caps the amount of interest that a state can charge at 6-percent per year, but many states ignore this statute. Plenty of women just enjoy complaining and man bashing when they arent a perfect parent either. She moves in with a new bf every other year while my love is the only woman Ive introduced her to. Both man and woman decide to lay together equally. Ive spent the last day and a half searching the internet for some sort of solution and so far all Ive found is a bunch of policies that make sense on the surface but lack the emotional depth necessary to determine a fair shake for everyone involved. Should you become unemployed they can order a work search and you would just need to report the jobs youre applying for and they dont charge current, as long as you follow the rules of the court. In most cases these children were made out of love. However, when his ex allowed first his daughter, then his son to drop out of school, drive without having a license, and let their current boyfriend/girlfriend move in with them, the courts did nothing. Thats a different story. So it sounds as though women should think of the possibilities before exploring their sexuality. So she wanted a divorce. Your entire scenario is just about a number-for-number match of the situation Ive been in.. These guidelines are applied unless a party can show that the application of the . He completely has controlled our lives and finances for the last four years. READ all of 42 USC! Because my ex was denying my court ordered visitation and I spend the weekend in jail for assault. I filed for child support in 2015, but cancelled the case when he begged me to and we agreed that he would pay me $250/month (I have text messages to prove this). My family court judge refused and stated that Your [ex-]wife (NOT our children) deserves that money. My boyfriends kids have lived with us for 2 years now and he is still paying child support for them. I get my kids 45/55 and she doesnt use the majority of my money for my kids. If the custodial parent cant be bothered to document and substantiate actual costs then they should get either nothing or 50% of a basic formula for what the average costs of a childs educational and healthcare are for whatever age. 5. And yes child support collected does for back in part to repay the state for welfare. Therefore it should be no problem for you to do the right thing and give up your parental rights while sending a large portion of your income to your sons father to do as he wishes with. If the dads were given the same rights and respect as the moms, maybe thered be more parenting done the mature adult way..doing whats best for the child (children). Lawyers? Not only am I taking your child away from you, but you now have to pay more for the right to what little time you do have together. Im a little confused though, you married a guy that pays child support for 2 other kids? Which means, even if the husband knows that the kid is not from him, he is bound to pay maintenance. Remember you chose who you wanted to mate with you were not force like in some countries where human rights do not exist. I agree 100% ive been dealing with this for years snd they recently quadrupled it! Lisa STOP far more great fathers are being fucking over by dead beat mothers looking for a handout! Our government has failed us. But this welfare queen who remarried some low income Asian guy had two more kids of course claims zero income during the DCSS court case to go after max amount of my salary. Ive been paying, lost my job, got behind, live in a different state. I say we dont separate fathers from mothers in this battle for new legislation and justice. Gets better, I have a second child, his son, which he also never offered to take care of while I lived at the hospital with my daughter. Introducing the Unfairness of Child Support for Fathers: A Closer Look Child support is an issue that has been under the microscope for decades. See the kids want 5050 I want 5050 and now my kids cant see me but 48 hours every other week and 3 hours on Wed if I can take off work. I feel everyones pain in this comment section Im a dad and I have not worked for 3 months dues to my wife having an AFE(amniotic Fluid Embolism) I have to help her she is in bad condition and Im the only that can care for her she cannot be left alone she is a fall risk and has numerous health issues she cant even walk. You really know how to pick em. Things like having my daughter call me at 230am to ask if her friend could spend the night next weekend, which when i would try to explain that it is common curtousy for middle of the night calls to be only emergency, got met with the exs wife snatching the phone away and stating that she told her to call, because if i love my daughter i would always be available for whatever she wants, no matter that i had to be up at 4 for work, she even said what kind of job makes you get up at 4, that is ridiculous. The simple fact that child support doesnt guarantee visitation makes me sick. I contested for a while but in the end realized I could not keep her where she did not want to be. Even if she makes 2-3 more an hour her house nite is more than one of he paychecks lol. If she is in fact withholding visitation, take her to court. Anyway, when we finally did break up, I had received a notice, claiming that I owe 16,000 in back pay. He never picked up the children and NEVER spent time with them. Thats what I signed up for when I had a kid. If the kids are younger than 12 they need a sitter or some adult model when moms at work. i feel bad for any child who has to be forced to live this way the law makers should be shot!!!!! Rose, stop ur man bashing cause that isnt a sign of good parenting on ur part. BTW my ex comes from a very wealthy family. I am a teacher and clinician. Good luck. The entire financial system, DCSS, and the corrupt IRS needs a complete overhaul or they should get the fight club treatment (see end of movie). My wife began seeing someone else and blamed it on me being distant. The man I was living with lived a double life. And so the father is screwed . The ex refuses to certify for bankruptcy court that my CS is current. They view child support as "extortion" instead of taking care of their responsibilities to their children. I could go on, but at this point it wouldnt change a thing. Keep in mind that the deadbeat dads are a minority. She works at a very low paying job and has for years. But today they are But then again. Exactly Ban together Just because you pay more doesnt mean your better. I just want to take a moment to thank you for your post. My sons mom agreed that this amount was absurd and that the back pay (arrears) was ridiculous and stated she would clear it up. Im not understanding why the woman should be the one who needs to think twice? Hes 52, and he has kids by his wife neice and daughter. True.., pretty good read, too, I looked up the memo, Im suprised I hadnt come across it earlier Seriously once I got ruined I couldnt get back out of the loop, it just keeps and the fees the state charges for all of that is nonsense. So how will my kids stay with me when all I have is a rented bedroom? Some men hate paying child support! The first year in a half they wouldnt let my daughter see her children of her days. So technically daycare is not a need when you can use a private party. An increasing number of children being born out of wedlock. Child support laws are designed to keep the noncustodial father/mother in a financial decay, as if they are the ones who are responsible for the child and divorce. So what should we do about the mothers who dont want to succeed in life and live of child support. How Do I Get My Name Off The Mortgage After Divorce? I am agoraphobic now. I made these payments every month for 3 years while we were separated. How come they give illegal aliens welfare but dont make them get a job, any job to pay it back?????! You should not be paying more than 30% if your net to the ex. Nobody is entitled to the fruits of someone elses labor, Legally. even knowing this who youre gonna call? Can not see his child because a court order was not put in place when his son was first born. Your situation is in the minority overall. 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